The trees were 60-70 feet tall, with massive branches and roots clustered around them. There was hardly any sunlight peeking through, and you could feel the ancient energy of the space deep in your bones.
And that’s when I saw her. Vasuki.
Her width was twice my size, and she was massively long, covering the land, with her head reaching the top of the forest. She was ferocious. Magnificent. Magnanimous. Ancient. Filled with love, warmth, protection, wisdom, knowledge, and fire. Her eyes held depths I had never even comprehended, forget witnessed. Greenish, bluish, blackish scales covered her skin.
While my soul recognized her immediately, my whole body froze.
I was terrified—terrified of who she was, of what she could do to me. My teeth chattered, my breath turned shallow, and my chest tightened as the panic started creeping in. But even as my brain spiralled, my soul spoke.
"Nothing will happen to you."
It was the strangest experience—I was petrified and the calmest I had ever been at the same time.
She was patient with me. It was as if she could feel the fight happening inside me as her own. She waited. She held space. And when my brain finally caught up with what my soul already knew, my trembling slowed—though I still could have pissed my pants.
And then… slowly, with immense love, she embraced me.
Surrounded me. Created a wall around me. And simply stayed. Until I got used to it. Until I sat down and leaned back on her.
Because it felt right.
Like I finally belonged.
Even though I was still scared as fuck.
She grounded me. Well… my soul. Tapped into the deepest parts of me to make me remember. Things I had forgotten for decades, probably centuries.
Then she unfurled herself to bless me—a heavy weight pressed on my lower back, heart, and head. A bright golden light flooded every cell, every atom inside me.
And then… I was back.
Stepping Into My Power—Whether I Was Ready or Not
This past month has been fucking intense.
Sure, astrologically, the Universe decided to pack every major event into four weeks—eclipses, solstices, retrogrades. But on a personal level? This was when I was introduced to Shamanism.
An ancient practice, a science, a way of seeing the world differently—as we’re meant to if I’m being honest. And what I just described? That was only my second session with my teacher. The intent was to activate my root chakra with a serpent as my spirit guide, to awaken the seeds of kundalini and abundance in the lower realm.
But what I received was so much more.
That trance meditation didn’t just activate something. It forced me into my power.
Even after the session, I was petrified. My body jittered and shivered as if I hadn’t fully returned from the lower realm. It was like she was still with me, watching, waiting for me to remember her.
That night, I sat with her for hours.
Not fully awake, not fully asleep. My fear kept dissolving—not all at once, but layer by layer, until I could finally just observe her. Until my mind caught up with what my soul already knew.
And then?
The magick happened.
The Words That Poured Out of Me
In the middle of the night, my soul urged me to write. No thinking. No analyzing. Just pure transmission.
I didn’t have a notebook next to me, so I started typing like a madwoman on my phone, my fingers moving so fast they cramped. The words wouldn’t stop.
I had no idea what I was writing.
But when the trance finally ended and I went back to read what I had written? It cracked me open.
Vasuki was me.
I was her.
And all I was holding onto?
Was a deep-seated fear of my own power.
That realization? It felt like something excavated itself from the depths of my chest. The box that had been locked inside me for lifetimes… finally broke open.
And with it?
Came every fear I had buried with it.
Who am I if I let this power out?
What does that even mean?
Am I just making all of this up?
What if I’m shunned for it? What if people can’t handle me at full power?
What if I become egoistic? What if I stop caring about others?
My brain fought. Hard.
Nothing made sense. The logical mind was losing its grip. But my soul had already taken over.
And at that moment, I knew—I had no choice but to leap.
The Expansion That Couldn’t Be Stopped
The power didn’t come in gently.
It rushed in like a fucking tidal wave.
I felt it in my bones. In my blood. In my breath. It was an intense vibration surging through me.
And then came the vision—I was expanding. Expanding. Expanding until I became the Universe itself. Until I could feel and witness every being. Until I realized I was them, and they were me.
One single entity.
One single consciousness.
A force that had always existed—waiting for me to stop fearing it.
And then?
I fucking crashed.
I slept for two days straight—not continuous, but easily 14 hours a day. Because my soul warned me: "This is just the beginning."
More activations were coming. More deaths and rebirths. And my body needed to calibrate to the new frequency.
Because true transformation isn’t a single moment. It’s a fucking onslaught.
Where I Am Now
Of course, the fear still knocks. It would be a lie to say it doesn’t.
But now?
The turnaround time is fast as fuck.
I don’t shrink myself anymore. Not in my writing. Not in receiving. Not in giving. Not in being. Not in relationships. And most importantly—not in who the fuck I am.
I don’t feel the need to.
I won’t apologize for my presence.
I won’t dim myself down to make others comfortable.
I won’t pretend to be anything less than what I was always meant to be.
And this?
This isn’t a lesson for anyone else.
I’m not writing this to “teach” or “inspire” anyone.
I’m writing this because it’s my truth. Because I simply felt called to. Period.
Because this is the version of me that has always existed—waiting for me to finally let her out.
And I have.
There’s no putting her back in the box now - She’s out. She’s awake. And she’s never fucking leaving.
If this piece stirred something inside you—if you felt it crack open something deep—consider supporting my work.
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