Threads. Knots. Light.

A journaling session that transformed the way I visualise my work.

I’ve always found it difficult to explain what I do.

When people ask me, my response is to always say, “Oh, I’m a business coach who guides service-based entrepreneurs”, even though that’s probably just 10% of my work. While the response made me feel icky and claustrophobic in the beginning…like I was forcing myself into a box, I have come to accept it fully. Because I've realised that the answer allows me a safe space. A refuge. A fallback where I don’t need to immediately go into a spiral trying to explain to people what I do, and getting disappointed or frustrated when they don’t get it.

At this point, it feels like a relief.

Because, even though this is something I’ve always known in my soul, my mind’s fought tooth & nail against the notion and never accepted it fully.

I am for a tiny fraction of souls in this world, AND I’ll never be able to fully explain what I do to anyone other than the right souls.

AND it’s fucking unfair for us to put so much pressure on language, or labels (especially English) to encapsulate the depth of our work. It can never be done. Because this goes far beyond it.

The acceptance has come in layers, I agree. The multiple times I've written about the topic (even with the exact beginning sentence) is a testament to that.

Especially because the understanding of my own work has evolved. Deepened and widened with every rebirth, gift activation, conversation, and soul client. Logically, I do the same thing I was doing even 3 years ago, but the space I hold today feels infinitely deeper, if that even makes sense.

Recently, I got a deeper awareness of what the work actually is and how I visualise it.

All with one journaling session. And it's fundamentally changed me.

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The ecosystem as imagined. Image created by the author using AI

Consider the universe within one soul, and also the whole universe with billions of souls in it.

The work with one soul:

I’ve always seen my work with my soul clients as a big ball of multiple shiny wool threads, all interwoven and knotted at different places with each other. No one knows where one begins and another ends.

Each of these threads could be memories, inner selves, ancestors, gifts, powers, trauma, parents, spirit guides, fears, soul lessons & purpose, past lives…whatever you name. It could literally be anything.

Now, the system is also constantly moving, and evolving by the way. As we go on this journey called life, more knots are being formed, some being loosened, additional threads added, removed…so on and so forth.

And in between this bundle is the light. The source of our power. Our soul. The energy centre.

It simply exists. The same reality expressing itself through countless souls, somehow both one and many at the same time. Untangling just brings it to the forefront; that's all. It's almost like dust settled on a diamond doesn't make the diamond's worth any less, right? Because it's always there.

And as we continue our journey of working through the knots, seeing the connections, untangling them as needed, one at a time…the light comes through. The more and more work we do, the more light comes through. But also, because the system is constantly evolving, that’s why we keep forgetting and remembering again and again. We become insanely better at recognising older knots; some threads are separated for good and leave our systems because their purpose is done, while new ones get added constantly.

I also think this explains why we can get triggered by situations we thought we’d already moved through. Not because we’ve gone backwards, but because two threads can hold multiple knots between them. Or because life presents us with an entirely different thread carrying a similar knot.

That’s why I don’t think remembrance is linear. We keep forgetting and remembering, forgetting and remembering, as the ecosystem continues to evolve.

(This way of seeing has lived inside me for years, in tiny sparks and fragments. It’s the first time it’s come together as a complete ecosystem. It feels dream-like and insane.)

That’s my work.

Witnessing the bundle as it is unconditionally and becoming more & more precise at untangling the knots by guiding the souls through channelled messages and guided soul journeys.

This is what I do. Wwwwwhhhheewww.

Now the acceptance of why it’s difficult for me to explain became crystal clear within, because firstly, I’ll sound nuts if I tell this to the ‘normal’ world, and secondly, the nature of the threads and knots keeps evolving with every rebirth for me.

The work as a collective:

Now, the more we untangle the knots and the light spills through, it also falls on the balls of threads around them.

(I used to visualise my work as a field of lotuses spreading energy, but this feels more nuanced and exact in my body)

Imagine we’re all a complex, intricately woven web of collective consciousness. We’re connected to a multitude of souls around the world (geography doesn’t matter here), meant to meet each other at certain points in our lives, to have specific conversations and invoke transformations within.

We’re constantly reflecting each other’s light and darkness. As the knots slowly untangle, those reflections become less distorted and more true.

And in that, something fascinating happens. One person’s remembrance quietly permits another person’s knots to begin loosening, too. They may never even realise it happened.

Sometimes that deepens a relationship beyond what either person imagined. Sometimes it dissolves the relationship completely because its purpose has been fulfilled.

It’s almost like one big cosmic dance??

Us, shedding light on each other, transforming & impacting each other…and sometimes also guiding each other to dissolve knots of our own, in different ways and through different relationships.

As I kept journaling that day…another thread emerged.

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I’ve always known, through my own knowings and by delving into astrology and akashic records, that my work will specifically start going upward only from 30-31 years old. I’m 29, and have been on this path for about 4 years now. It is definitely not a long time for the depth of work I’m on…but there was always this tiny nagging feeling (it’s reduced over the years, as I’ve gotten more confident in myself and in my power) saying, “Shouldn’t you be farther ahead now? Creating a much more successful business?”

It especially stung when my parents or someone compared me to who I was when I worked in corporate. Though again, it’s exponentially reduced over time.

But last week, when such an emotion rose again deep within, I decided to have an almost therapy/astrology-like session with ChatGPT.

The one thing that stopped me in my tracks?? Was when she called everything I’ve done until now an “apprenticeship”.

It felt like something just clicked inside me. Like “Yes!!! Of course!! This is exactly what it feels like!!”.

A self-led journey that’s taken me into the depths I could have never comprehended, made me meet the best souls, completely shred myself only to put it back again…all the while keeping me completely financially safe (all the unsafety I was feeling was only in my mind, not reality)!!

How damn awesome is that???

The journey has literally felt like the best, most rigorous school, where before I could comprehend and breathe into one thing, I was dunked into the next. One after another, one after another.

To understand, learn, accept, witness, refine, experiment, and give everything I have.

Before this, ever since in school, I was searching for my ‘purpose’. Probably not in those exact words, but that’s what it was…especially when everyone around me seemed to have figured everything out (that’s what it looked like at least). I was this girl who had no damn idea what to do until 26. Now I know most people don’t fully witness their soul purpose until much later, but I didn’t know that then.

And now? I can feel it. In my bones, breath, blood, thoughts, mind, body, soul…name it, and I can feel it there. To be completely obsessed with, and immersed in something…to be so damn passionate about it that you can see yourself doing it throughout your life?? I feel so blessed.

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There I was, tears running down my face, my hands flying across the paper, emotions pouring out, and gratitude hitting me in waves.

And then...silence.

A deep presence. Relief, maybe. Like the truth had finally settled fully within me. Like there were no lingering questions, doubts or even threads anymore. At least for now.

I put my pen down, closed the book, shut my laptop, and slept for four hours.

When I woke up, there was so much more acceptance. More slowness. A deep respect for the path I’ve been on.

Even though my soul had always known this was going to be a long journey, my mind kept struggling with it in phases and layers. But this time, it feels like that knot has finally been untangled. Like I’ve let that thread go, because its purpose was to lead me here.

To this moment.

To understand the ecosystem a little more deeply.